![]() ![]() ![]() This might seem as though you are just trying to make fake situations to seem helpful.ĭon't try to help immediately. In this case, you can offer it, but be cautious about acting like your experiences are exactly like the other person's. Of course, if the person knows that you've had a similar experience, then he or she may actively ask for your opinion.This is a good indicator that you're focusing more on yourself than on the person's situation. You may think that this is the best way to be helpful and to approach the situation, but this type of thinking is actually reductive and can make the person feel like you're not really listening at all.If the person is talking about dealing with a death in the family, you can share some wisdom, but avoid saying, "That's exactly like how it was with me." This can come off as offensive or insensitive especially when you compare something really serious to your own less-intense experiences, such as comparing the person's divorce to your three-month long relationship this may cause discomfort to the person talking. Though you may think that the best thing you can do to really listen is to compare the person's experiences to your own, this is far from the truth. This will help you truly hear the person instead of forming your own opinions before you truly understand the situation at hand.Īvoid comparing the person's experiences to your own. X Research source Think about how you would feel if someone was silently judging you. Instead of immediately judging the person who is speaking, or coming up with a "solution" right away, just take the time to listen and to look at the situation from the other person's perspective.Make sure you are making eye contact with the person, not someone else or something else. Try to make sure you are completely focused on the person who is talking and not get sidetracked. Make sure you really are listening and not doing something else. People who listen more are more observant and therefore more thoughtful and have a better understanding of things. When listening to people, engage in the conversation and make eye contact so they know that you care about what they are saying (even if you don't care, it is still polite). It is more beneficial to listen than it is to talk. This means that you should be listening more than you are talking. Remember that you have two ears and one mouth for a reason.X Research source By being a good listener this can also help you become better friends with the person by getting to know more about them. Instead, you must open out and look at the problems from the other person's perspective: and assume that if you had been in their shoes, you would have come to the same conclusion, and not seen your way through the problem any faster than them. But active listening is blocked by your inward thinking. ![]() It's easy to get lost in yourself and to only consider the impact of the other person's "telling" on you. Place yourself in the other person's shoes. ![]()
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